i miss them

ok..before masuk ke main title..aq nak gitau, ritu beday crush aq, which on 29 november ago.. i gave him his potrait in the envelope..well, i think he like it..maybe..he just said thanks through ws which, at least he said thanks..hahahha..but, thats not the main point i wanna tell here..

i'm..missing them

who's them?

my family..
my cousin
my aunt

and the worst part

i cant even cry

this is hurt... i told one of my friend about this..which i regret talk about it..i want a pair of ear..not a thousand of thought from her..not her stories..

i was wrong..

and there is feel..

failure..

i think im fail..
i think i disappoint myself
i think i'm not worth anything
i think im anxious about certain thing

i dont now how to talk about this..

every little words that come out off my mouth sound like a joke, and i smile like an idiot while telling all the stories..

its not that i hate myself, i become insecure with myself..

i often told them all the funny proud feels in front of people, but that is not me deep in here..thanks to my mask, i am hide well..

no one really see the emo me..thanks to myself again...

thank you dearself for making some of the things complicated..